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Amazon Summary 2

Comments: 3    

The Amazon is important to the Yanomamies and they would like their Rain Forest to live. When settlers came, roads, loggers, and sawmills were built. They were damaging the Rain Forest.  When they damaged the rain forest that meant cutting down trees, which is illegal and having land disappearing.When Gold was discovered 10,000 miners came from near by countries and brought many diseases like malaria, influenza, bad coughs.  Many of those diseases wiped out the Yanomami villages and alerted the world of the illnesses that were traveling around the nation. After the Yanomami village was wiped out Brazil set aside 36,000 square miles as homeland.  Many people were still mining illegally and had many violent clashes with miners.  After attempting to save the homeland of the Yanomamis 10,000 more squared miles was lost.  Over a couple of years 20% of the Rain Forest was lost.  Many farmers lost their crops.  Now 80% of  logging illegal.  The boom of soy became worse.  There was an effort to save the land and its crops.  Since farmers lost soy, farmers moved closer into the Rain Forest and tried to grow more.  Now there are more cleared roads in the rain forest.  More land needs to be protected.



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alexandrap on April 26, 2006 at 1:49 PM
Really good article! Just a couple mispellings:rain forest shouldn't be capitalized, gold either, and you have a sentence saying "10,000 squared miles was lost", which should be something like "10,000 square miles were lost." Ok...otherwise, looks great! :)

   

jtubbs on April 28, 2006 at 10:50 PM
Ali,
First, see Alexandra's comment for spelling errors.
Second, I think your summary is pretty good. You could change a few things to make it better. The most important of those is improving your sentence fluency. Many of your sentences could be combined to form longer, more effective sentences. Try to include a few compound sentences (combine two sentences and separate them with and, or, or but).

   

brunsmana on May 3, 2006 at 9:20 AM
Ali,
Excellent summary. Very well written. Make the changes Mr. Tubbs suggested, use the checklist, and then either respond to other people's blogs, add to posted stories, or read a new story & write another summary.
Thanks & good work,
Mrs. Brunsman

   

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