Friendly Letter
Comments: 2
Dear Matt,
Im being forced to write this letter to you.I need you to bring the check we won for 1 trillion dollars to the far side of the woods.Quickly,as fast as you can get to the far side of the woods without being seen. I also need you to make a copy of the check so we can still have the money.
You should dress up in my old hard plastic armor,(it should be hard enough).Don’t bring anyone with you because they will get renforcements.The keys to the cells are hanging on a tree at the entrance to the black omnivious hideout.First you should get dad out because hes the biggest,strongest,toughest,and most relentless person if he has to fight for his family.Then without you being seen let dada fight the guards and you get everyone else out.Thankyou,come as fast as you possibly can.
Josh Lampert
Im being forced to write this letter to you.I need you to bring the check we won for 1 trillion dollars to the far side of the woods.Quickly,as fast as you can get to the far side of the woods without being seen. I also need you to make a copy of the check so we can still have the money.
You should dress up in my old hard plastic armor,(it should be hard enough).Don’t bring anyone with you because they will get renforcements.The keys to the cells are hanging on a tree at the entrance to the black omnivious hideout.First you should get dad out because hes the biggest,strongest,toughest,and most relentless person if he has to fight for his family.Then without you being seen let dada fight the guards and you get everyone else out.Thankyou,come as fast as you possibly can.
Josh Lampert
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jessykam
on February 22, 2006 at 1:37 PM
Hi Josh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
brunsmana
on March 8, 2006 at 10:08 AM
Josh,This is a very creative letter. However, it is confusing particularly in the second paragraph. Remember to reread and clarify confusing parts. Also, 'Quickly,as fast as you can get to the far side of the woods without being seen" is a fragment. When trying to vary sentences, be sure to use complete sentences.
Blog entry is written as a friendly letter 2/2
Friendly letter includes all 5 components .5/2
The body of your letter contains 3 paragraphs with 3 sentences in
each paragraph. 2/2
Your letter contains the components of organization 1/2
Correct use of grammar conventions 1.5/2
Total 7/10
Keep improving,
Mrs. Brunsman