Revenge of Saving the Amazon
Comments: 3
The United States and the Brazilian government are working together to protect the Rain Forest and the Yonomami people. In 1960's the search for gold and homes mostly destroyed the Amazon. Then in 1991 Brazils government gave 36,000 square miles to the Yanomami people to stop the illegal loggers. But the illegal loggers are still cutting down the trees when there not suppose to, and 1.8 of the logging is illegal! Now Brazil and America are putting illegal loggers in jail, and still trying to protect the 12% of the Amazon. Help save the Amazon!!!
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harrisonw
on April 26, 2006 at 1:50 PM
your writing is very good you had;veried sentence beginings and every thing alse was good to.
brunsmana
on May 3, 2006 at 9:47 AM
Josh,Excellent topic sentence. Good description of the problems. Good beginning, middle, and end. You mentioned some problems and how they're being solved. Today in class, add more problems discussed in the article. Also, try to make a smooth transition between the settlers and the government preserving land. Try to make it clear that they made an attempt to solve the problem, but it didn't work.
Good work and effort,
Mrs. Brunsman
brunsmana
on May 10, 2006 at 10:09 AM
Josh,Well done. Great improvements. Your transitions make your summary more clear.
2/2 listed the main ideas in the first sentence
2/2 details support the main idea in the first sentence
2/2 supporting details are written in sequence
2/2 summary is brief
2/2 includes facts instead of opinions
2/2 rephrased author’s words
2/3 correct spelling
3/3 complete sentences with varying beginnings
3/3 followed grammar rules
Total: 20/21 points
Great work and effort!!!
Mrs. Brunsman
