Marytess's Web Log

Reading response for SSR book.

summary 2

Comments: 1    

    Many concerned people are fighting for the destruction of the Amazon rain forest.  When the Yahnomami moved to the rainforest, that is when the destruction began.  They started to build roads, cut down trees, and sawmills were built.  Many people realized the destruction and started to help. The Brazilian government set out 36,000 square miles for the Yahomami.  The biggest problem was 10,00 square miles cut down alone in 2004.  Since soy farming has become popular, more roads are being built deeper into the forest.  Despite the loss so far, Brazil and other organizations are working together to help and save the rainforest.

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brunsmana on May 3, 2006 at 10:02 AM
Marytess,
Your summary is brief, but good. Well written topic sentence. Please add a smooth transition between sentence 1 and 2. Also, sentence 2 needs to be reworded to make it more clear. Check the sequence of your sentences. Either they're out of order or you need some transitions between them.
Thanks
Mrs. Brunsman

   

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