The piece that I consider to be my best six-trait piece is "She Made a Bracelet".  I used many different sentence beginnings, and sentences of many different lengths. Many of my word choices made pictures in my mind as I re-read it, and they seemed very descriptive. I could almost hear the girls talking!  Also, I have no grammatical errors. (Yes!) I believe it is a good article.
        "Sensory Details:Restlessness" is the piece that most puts me to shame. There is no sentence fluency- every sentence is overflowing and crammed with nearly useless words. This brings me to my word choices. The words do not fit the title and create-not pictures- but a feeling of immense boredom. Probably, I have grammatical errors, but I did not chance upon any. Oh, well. In every other respect, this article is a despicable disgrace!
       In the future, I will use the SMART method to improve the clarity of my sentence fluency, and vary my sentence beginnings. At least one sentence will begin with an adverb in every blog entry. This goal is-I believe-  measurable and achievable.
   

February 8, 2006

Dear Bailey,

    I miss you so much! I can?t believe I haven?t seen you since last summer. At least we had a great time and made many memories. I love to think about that visit.
    Again, thanks a lot for inviting me. Also, thanks for inviting Kelsey. The way you surprised me was hilarious! She made everything more fun. Plus, I never would?ve gotten a chance to see her otherwise.
    Remember the time we stuffed our bathing suits with rocks? That was awesome!  We looked so fat- I can?t believe your mom took pictures. It was scary when the rocks weighed us down, though, and they all spilled out sooner or later. Didn?t it just take forever to clean them up? How many were there? Four hundred?
    That ?court case? was so silly. I still have the drawings and quotes about ?evidence?. Remember that?  You were Arthur, I think. Maybe.  You guys were actually MAD until we had the court case. Then it was just funny. (It really was all along.)
    Even if we hadn?t done so much silly and memorable stuff, I would?ve loved it. Your house is-as always- fabulous, and your family seems just like it?s mine. Strangely enough, I feel almost like they?re MY family. We had the greatest food. Those juicy pear jelly -beans were fabulous.
    I hope we can see each other over Spring Break. I don?t think you-know-who is taking me. (Cross your fingers!) Even if we can?t, call me, email me, even use our ?special? stationary to write. Sorry this letter is so short!

Your Best Friend Forever,

Alexandra